I asked Deb what she did when she wanted to get off of her island that was so remote and lonely and she said, “That’s simple: I take a mirror and shine it at the boat lady and she comes to shore and whisks me away.”

“But what if there is a storm? What if there are sharks? What if you lose your map because a big dolphin jumps out of the water and playfully grabs it and takes it out far into the ocean where it will serve no purpose beyond augmenting your sorrow?”


Everything about the turtle was different than he was: his lips, his eyes, the color of his skin, his small legs, his aroma, his general deportment, his affection for the dark. Yet he loved it so. Why?

On a beautiful autumn day, the trees contain more than 300,000 colors. Not four or five or ten.


Don is a funny name, but I like to know people who say “My name is Don.” Ed is a good name, as is Thomas, Fred, which rhymes with Ed but not with Ginger, Montague and also Wilhelmina are not good names. Meaning: Ginger and Montague are not good names. Ed, however, is a nice name and a nice person, like Thomas, but not Tommy, as it Montague but not Monty, you can tell so much from a name but you never know what it is that you can tell until it becomes clear.

I hate my name. Like all people who hate their own names, I also hate other names. I do, however, love all the names of the planets. Someday I want to have nine dogs and take them out at night and say: “That’s yours up there next to the sparkling one that’s falling” and then they will bark or howl.


There are apricots, and peaches, and pears, but I always wait until plum season before I do anything important. Naturally I eat the other fruits as well, but when I do, I am indolent and anxious for plum season, when plums are ripe and juicy – for plums are the best of all fruits to add to baby cereal.


It’s Sunday evening and everyone at the grocery store is a beautiful person. I buy much more tuna than I need, and certainly more chocolate. These are human beings that are advertising the goodness of living in the world and they don’t even know it and they aren’t even paid to do it but they can’t help themselves and business is booming and they are enjoying this world and laughing and carrying on and eating chocolate, and tuna, too. But not as much tuna. How could they possibly? I personally have over 800 pounds in the form of a tuna.


“This shark has a big fin!” I said to Monty. “It’s the livin’ end!”

Monty looked thoughtfully at the shark. “You know in France,” he said, “it is called ‘La Fin.’

I looked thoughtfully as Monty did only now at the water where the shark was before. Now he was gone forever. Just like Monty, who was French.



Ricky Garni grew up in Florida and Maine. He works as a graphic designer by day and writes music by night. COO, a tiny collection of short prose printed on college lined paper with found materials such as coins, stamps and feathers, was recently released by Bitterzoet Press. 

Photo illustration by Jessica Herrera

Thursday, September 21st 2017